One day a beautiful princess
Was walking on the bog
On a slab of peat
Who should she meet
But Fred the Talking Frog
Well the top of the morning to you lass
Hello hello cries he
I'd be glad you know if you'd stop a mo'
And listen close to me
You see I've been bewitched
And I'm needing a royal miss
Such as your lovely self
To give this ugly mug a kiss
Such a metamorphosis will then ensue
I'll tell you true
For I'm really a former prince
And I'll straightway marry you

To me rightful rightful Johnny Go Darum
Higgledy-piggledy down and around to me
High low harem and scarum
Riding a white horse to Coventry Town
To me toady toady Truman Capote
Driving to Sligo with Molly O'Shea
For to dance by the sea
With a right cup of tea
On a bleary Sunday morning

Well I heard that song
And that dance before
Says the Princess it's all fine
But if it's a kiss you're after
The chance is you'll have to stand in line
There's frogs outside me father's castle
Frogs in the royal hall
Frogs is climbing up the chimney
Frogs is bouncing off the wall
Frogs is floating on the moat
And up the stairs and on the shelf
If I had to kiss every one a yiz Jaysus
I'd have no time to myself
But laddie let's make it swift
For lately falls the hour
And I'm due back home for me evening shift of
Pining in the tower

To me rightful rightful Johnny Go Darum
Higgledy-piggledy down and around to me
High low harem and scarum
Riding a white horse to Cranberry Town
To me toady toady Truman Capote
Faith and begorrah it's Maureen O'Hara
Driving to Sligo with Molly O'Shea
For to dance by the sea
With a right cup of tea
On a bleary Sunday morning

She's just about to kiss him
When Mrs. Frog comes hopping by
Crying Fred you're late for supper
Coming dear was his reply
You mean he's not bewitched
The princess says
Just odd says Mrs. Frog
And into kissing princesses
He meets upon the bog
And though I love me Fred
I fear he chafes at family ties
I'd invite you home for supper me dear
But we only have two flies
Thank God you didn't kiss him
Today's your lucky day
Till I kissed Fred I was a princess too
That's how I got this way

To me rightful rightful Johnny Go Darum
Higgledy-piggledy down and around to me
High low harem and scarum
Riding a white horse to Knott's Berry Farm
To me toady toady Truman Capote
Faith and begorrah it's Maureen O'Hara
Hark to the herald it's Barry Fitzgerald
Driving to Sligo with Molly O'Shea
For to dance by the sea
With a Guinness and me
Wallace Beery Sunday morning

To me toady toady Truman Capote
Faith and begorrah it's Maureen O'Hara
Hark to the herald it's Barry Fitzgerald
All in a Volkswagen with Victor McLagen
Driving to Sligo with Molly O'Shea
For to dance by the sea
With a right cup of tea
On a bleary Sunday morning
For to dance by the sea
With an LSD
Timothy Leary Sunday morning

Recorded on: Such Things are Finely Done, Live At Dark-Thirty