Hey cats and kittens dig the story
Of young Dorian Gray
He had his portrait painted
In the coolest way
He got to keep his beauty
He got to keep his youth
It was the painting that got ugly
And so long in the tooth
He had to stash it in the attic
So his friends couldn't see
The kind of self-indulgent cat
He'd turned out to be

I love my chocolate bon bons
And it's way cool I must admit
I love my chocolate bon bons
And it's way cool I must admit
I get the sugar rush
The cat in the picture gets the zit

I don't know much about art
I don't know much about art
I don't know much about art
But I know what I like

Dig now it's later in our story
And old Dorian says my
That painting sure is lookin creepy
I'm not that bad a guy
I like my little absinthe
I dig my little tokes
I may be kinda libertine
For you Victorian folks
But walk a mile in my spats
Before you disagree
How come this lousy painting
Keeps on bad-mouthin me

It's nowhere
When you have to keep your portrait upstairs
It's nowhere
When you have to keep your portrait upstairs
When that space over the sofa
Looks so lonesome and so bare

But all your friends would shout out
Hey dad you wanta see a knocked out painting
Fall by Dorian Gray's pad
It's bad
Man that cat been whupped with an ugly stick or what
I nearly woofed my cookies
That portrait painter sure kicks butt

I don't know much about art...

He coulda had it deconstructed
Like some wigged out Miro
He coulda had it half erased
By some cat in Soho
He coulda lent it to the Getty's
Or one of them groovy joints
He coulda sold it to Wes Craven
For a share of the points
He coulda had it Andy Warholed
Like them orange Marilyns
But he stuck it with a knife
And died from overdue sins

I don't know much about art...

Recorded on: Old Man Dancing